“The less we understand a group in society—the less we bother to learn—the more misconceptions and worries we have.”
- from This Book Is Gay by Juno Dawson, a frequently banned book
#10 (tie) on the American Library Association’s list of Top 13 Most Challenged Books of 2022.
This book does some important things: It treats our LGBTQ+ siblings with respect. It speaks to them about things that matter. (The last we checked, humans are sexual beings.) So, it makes sense to discuss things important to teenage humans. They have, after all, been known to engage in sexual behavior. And let’s not start out by ignoring the approximately 9% of the global population who identify as LGBTQ+.
Like anyone, we have opinions about this book. And many would disagree with some of its assertions. For example, Ms. Dawson says that “…it makes no difference how many sexual partners you have…” as long as “all partners are honest, open, and safe about their lifestyle choices….” We’re not sure that’s the general consensus of medical and mental health experts. That advice may even be considered harmful.
But yanking the book from schools and libraries causes two problems. First, it denies sex education for a group of students who get little pertinent sex ed. Second, it conveys the message of “this is forbidden. If you read it, don’t tell anybody.” We don’t know about you, but we want a conversation after our kids read that book.
Sex ed is essential
Sexuality is a gift from the Creator. And so is cooking, driving, hang-gliding, horse riding, etc., etc. We don’t give every gift for the first birthday. Or the fifth, or the tenth. But we don’t pretend that nobody drives until kids are ready to drive. They get a little info at a time, as they’re ready, some taught at home, some taught at school. (Don’t forget, some people drive on a different side of the road, too. It’s not wrong… just feels weird to us.)
While it’s clear that abstinence only education is an utter failure, sex education is essential. The Kaiser Family Foundation weighed in back in 2018 with its report on sex education in the US. The US federal government was ramping up support for abstinence-only programs. Meanwhile the KFF reviewed research that had long been available. A-O sex ed doesn’t work. Actually, it increases the rate of teen pregnancy. The age of sexual debut doesn’t improve. The average number of sexual partners doesn’t go down. A-O ed just moralizes.
A-O fans like to point to one 2010 study over 2 years when an A-O program decreased teen pregnancy. Cool. So, how did that work?
While advocates of comprehensive sex education recognize the study as rigorous and credible, they argue that the programs in these studies are not representative of most abstinence-only programs. Instead, the evaluated programs differed from traditional abstinence-only programs in three major ways: they did not discuss the morality of a decision to have sex; they encouraged youth to wait until they were ready to have sex, rather than until marriage; and they did not criticize the use of condoms. (emphasis ours)
Abstinence Education Programs: Definition, Funding, and Impact on Teen Sexual Behavior, published by the Kaiser Family Foundation
Hey teens… you absolutely should avoid or at least delay sexual activity. Your brains aren’t done cooking yet. And y’all aren’t famous for awesome decision-making. But you deserve to understand sexuality. You should understand why waiting is better. And you need a backup plan in case you ignore that advice. Sex is as normal and human as eating or sleeping. But teens are rarely ready for it yet. Give it time.
Straight kids need to know, too
Removing all references to sexuality/gender identity other than straight and cis-gender, acting as if that’s all that exists… well, that’s just plain wrong. As in inaccurate. And it communicates that those people shouldn’t really exist. So we don’t owe them any dignity. And everyone who has ever heard of the “Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes” exercise knows that won’t end well… in fact, doesn’t end well every day.
Remember the old chant? “We’re here, and we’re queer, so get used to it.” It’s true. Queer folk have always been here. The harshest backlash began after some in society started to acknowledge them. Isn’t it time we treated all children of creation with dignity and respect?
